When the Village is No More…
By: Rebecca Figone
September 25, 2011
This past week, an incident occurred, where a mother sought help from her child’s bus driver in a situation that was occurring on the bus. Her child was being bullied, physically and mentally, and she wanted the bus driver to be aware and to intervene if necessary. The bus driver in the incident pretty much laid out lame excuses for the inability to do this, and so, the mother seeing no other choice, boarded the bus. She spoke to her son’s bullies about their behaviors, and she asked that they keep their hands to themselves. Now, the school has banned her from the school and the bus stop for the school year. So, failure of the school to help with the bullying is not seen as a problem here…failure of the bus driver to maintain a violence free bus is not seen as a problem here….bullying of a student including physical violence is not seen as the problem here. No, a mother defending her child is what is seen as the problem here. Please read more about this story at this link.
So, let’s evaluate history a little, so that we can understand, clearly, how we got here, in the first place.
Do you recall the time of “the village” mindset. This is the way it once was, but it no longer is. This mindset was about a community of people pulling together to create well rounded children, who all understood that it was the village that parented the children…not simply the parents. This part of culture diminishment and the “missing dad” syndrome, have both played a role in our demise culturally. Society suffers for lack of the village and it suffers for lack of fathers who take interest in their offspring. Now, if one’s neighbors were to speak to our children in a disciplinary manner, there would be those who would be offended.
There is far too much of this offended mindset among our society, and many times this human nature reaction ends up in the legal system. The litigious “sue happy” society that we have become, has sparked a certain amount of fear, especially in the nature of civil litigation. The torte arena certainly has had its ability to keep society from even attempting to help each other at times, as we fear being sued.
Another cause and effect of this problem is the decline of social morality that has occurred in our society since the removal of prayer and the Bible from inclusion in the class room. The facts show the decline, and regardless of the argument, the facts are impossible to refute. I don’t believe in coincidence…I believe in demonstrated cause and inverse effect. To be certain, the laws in our society that have come about during the last half century pertaining to parental ability to discipline their own children, have also created a certain amount of stagnation and fear to discipline the way of necessity. Some states do not allow any sort of physical admonishment for head strong out of control children. The teachings of the Bible are clear, and the Bible tells us clearly in Proverbs 29:15 that: “The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” There are other examples of what our Father expects of us, His children, but for now, this shall suffice.
Recently a judge here in Texas punished a mother for spanking her 2 year old. While I did think that the situation was not necessarily warranted for such a small child, not old enough to truly be cognitive of their own actions, but I was surprised by the wording from the judge on the issue. The Judge said that we just don’t spank any longer, and that is part of the problem. It seems that many times when that type of admonishment would help, it is avoided because of the abuse laws or possible accusations. If we still had a society that families stayed together, if we still had the village, without the fear of being sued all the time, and if our parents weren’t so hesitant to be the disciplinarians our society needs them so desperately to be…the US society would be better off than what we see today. All around the nation, we have social discord, and we are no longer a nation of unity and one accord in hopes of having a society that everyone wants and needs to thrive. Instead what we have is a situation that almost seems lost to the point of no return.
Our households are producing bullies and those who are easily bullied. It would benefit us all to think on this subject and to try to understand how we got here. If we see the path clearly that got us here, then we can see the path clearly that will lead us to the solution. Be Blessed.